Blog Assignment #7 Song or Poem?

Eminem is one of the most controversial artists in the industry; with his grotesque humor and vulgar language it’s surprising to believe that he has humble characteristics that are expressed in his songs. “Cinderella Man” was released in Eminem’s Recovery album in 2009, many of the songs are still popular today.

Virtually all songs are deprived from the artist’s thoughts, feelings, emotions, or life experiences. These are put into meaningful words, often poetic, that not only appeals to the artist, but that millions of fans can relate to.

“Cinderella Man” is the story of Eminem being the ‘underdog’ in the music industry and dominating, failing, and redeeming himself again.

In the entertainment industry, you always have to be hot, new and fresh. The hyperbole “- that boy’s hot enough to melt hell, burn Satan too” is Eminem speaking in third person about himself when he first came into show business.

The PARADOX “- rewound the future to the present” is talking about Eminem’s continuous success in the business for a while, and wanting it to continue.

“Smash an hour glass, grab the sand, take his hands and cup ‘em, take the hands of time and cuff ‘em.” This PERSONIFICATION explains that time is a physically a person, and he wants to stop it and lock it away as though a criminal.

“There’s a storm comin’ that the weather man couldn’t predict” is a IRONIC statement and refers that Eminem did not see the downfall of his career approaching

“S***, my potato’s baked” is a SIMILE used in a context that is intercepted that he was so self absorbed he didn’t realize he was starting to become “overdone”.

“He came to the ball with a wife beater, lost his Nike shoe” gives the THEME that the artist does not feel the need to impress everybody else, and he continuously repeats the idea throughout the song.

“**** catching lightening, he struck it. Screamed “shut up” at thunder, flipped the world upside down and made it rain upward.” These lines are not only powerful IMAGERY, but gives the audience a MOOD that one can stand up to anything or anyone.

Blog Assigment #11 Santa Letter

Evyn Haberstock
Sports Lane Road
232 Volleyball Street
V2A 4B6

December 18th, 2011
Santa Claus, North Pole
H0H0H0

Dear Santa;
I have been very good this year.  I have also been doing well in all my classes and playing lots of sports, which means my locker is always full of sweaty gym clothes. I think my locker partner would appreciate a air freshener or some laundry detergent, perhaps an unlimited supply of disposable gym clothes. I would also love some Old Spice deodorant, Rebecca's old men deodorant and sweaters have inspired me. I would also like some driving lessons because well Santa, you probably wouldn't believe it but a cop pulled me over a few weeks ago on Main Street.Except I was parked. I thought he had stopped because I had too many people in the car, you can imagine my surprise when he told me I was pulled over for my parking job. The rear end of my car was sticking out so bad that it blocked the lane next to it. I wasn't given a ticket, but a face full of red embarrassment was punishment enough.
I would also like some pen-ink remover. You see quite a few years ago, I was at a sleepover with some friends at J******'s house and I was the first one to fall asleep and they drew all over me. It took weeks to scrub the permanent marker off.
I don't need to ask you for smarts and intelligence because you already know I'm a straight A student and all, (kind of), maybe it's because my dad is the Biology teacher, he just passed along the wisdom and my amazing athletic ability.

Thanks Santa!

Blogg Assignment #10

“Plugged In”

“Cell-fishness” as it has been satirically dubbed, or cell phone addiction has intoxicated our society, and not necessarily just the youth. Kevin Newman, fifty two, was awarded with an honorable document at a ceremony and after he “took his seat on the dais, [he] began typing on his iPhone.” Pamela Eyring, director of the Protocol School of Washington, that teaches social manners viewed this as “rude, period.” The article “Public Displays of Disaffection” excerpted from MacLean’s Magazine debates that controversial subject of cell phone usage, or “cell-fishness” in daily life. The article’s most perplexing information said that “10% of people under age 25 didn’t see anything wrong with texting during sex.” This fact was also supported by the predictable statistic that reveals “the younger you are, the more tolerant you’ll be to electronic distraction.” There is even a “National Cellphone Courtesy month” in the United States, “requiring awareness- as if it [were] a disease.”

The information from this article is shocking and appalling. Not too many years ago, it would been highly frowned upon to text or use a electronic device while at a noble ceremony accepting a honorable award, however today it is widely accepted by many groups. Where do we draw the line? From here, it is a slippery slope. When does the line get blurred between doctors or physicians using cell phones while operating? It is an addiction, and an unhealthy one at that. Also the “National Cellphone Courtesy Month” may promote proper etiquette on texting, it is borderline pathetic the problem has escalated to that. The first step to recovering from "cell-fishness" is to "turn it off, - it's a start."

Blog Assignment #9 Original Poem

I am the stop sign

I ‘m vibrant, chromatic, and showy

and I can’t be missed.

I am the wall between there

and here.

I am more than vexatious obstruction.

Law abiding citizens,

obey me.

I cause mayhem,

Yet provide protection from collision.

I am the stop sign

I am the Berlin Wall

I divide insanity and mayhem.

I am the unforeseen obstacle,

blocking ambitions and aspirations.

Undealt with,

and I flourish cancerously.

I am the mental impasse

during an SAT exam.

Optimists fear me,

pessimists expect me.

I don’t negotiate

nor compromise.

You overrule and overcome me,

are defeated

or withdrawal prematurely.

I am the stop sign

Blog Assignment #8

"Ideal Relationship"

     "I don't believe for a moment that a perfect mate exists-"
This line is an excerpt from the story "Forget Prince Charming" written by June Callwood. The author describes how there is no such thing as a perfect relationship because there is always conflicting personality characteristics and insolence. The poet Alice Major from the poem "puce fairy book" promotes the idea that fairy tales and the clichés involved is ludicrous and ridiculous. Alice Major focus's more on the fact that women cannot live up to these "ideal looks" of beauty. June Callwood focuses on the idea that couples need certain qualities to have a successful relationship.

Major is brilliant when she compares real life women to the old, traditional values of fairy tales that "[are] pretty, but slightly passé." Finding true love is supposed to be one of life's greatest gifts. One is expected to look past the other's flaws and "the parts of [them] that [are] no fairy tale." Major indefinitely states in her poem that she "[may] have [found her] one true prince but on mature consideration [she] declined, with thanks, the honor of cutting off [her] toe." The underlying meaning(s) of the last stanza is that although she may have found her soul mate, she was mature by knowing that no one is fairy tale perfect. She also recognizes she is not the perfect fairy tale princess, and that her foot is much too large to fit in the dainty glass slipper.

June Callwood stresses to her readers and grandchildren that "they cannot expect perfection". If you do, you will only be disappointed by a "narcissistic dope." Callwood, who was been "married almost fifty-seven years and so far it is working out", forms the idea that "Prince Charming" mates and the "temporary insanity that accompanies courtship" are not the ingredients for a successful relationship. Callwood states that many young lovers in "the first fiery intensity of romantic attachment" are given a brutal wake up call once the "sweetness they [bring out] in one another" fades. She also criticizes lovers who believe that "the partnership will be effortless" because "two adults from different backgrounds will not agree on everything" and there will have to be huge efforts, compromises, and sacrifices to make the relationship work.

One would imagine that although the two stories have different meanings, Major would applaud the grandmother's advice in the story "Forget Prince Charming" because she shares a similar idea with Callwood that fairy tale relationships and characteristics are highly unrealistic and impossible to live up to. They also share the idea that just because one meet someone who may seem like a ‘Prince Charming’, doesn’t necessarily mean that one necessarily would be happy spending their live with such a ‘perfect’ individual.

Blog Assignment #6 Effective Imagery

"SMASH!" I heard the sound of a glass bottle make contact with the floor. Shards of glass sprayed the ground like a light snowfall. Everyone turned to look except one individual. He looked up, and caught my gaze. Here, I looked into the eyes of a man who looked as old as the Egyptian Pyramids. The light blue of his eyes was startling, almost as white as ice. His old, beaten, weathered hands that sooner resembled leather than human skin held a cigarette in his arthritis curled fingers. The wrinkles stretching across his forehead and between his eyes were like deep crevasses, showing weathering and age. The cigarette glowed like a burning candle. He clearly battled insomnia; below his eyes were dark shadows that resembled bruises. He stared at me intently, as though trying to figure me out. Bulging tendons ran up his arm like snakes when he brought the cigarette to his lips. When he exhaled, the smoke was a white halo encircling his head. His icy eyes looked toward the bartender, breaking his hypnotic gaze.

Blog Assigment #5 College Admission; Why am I the Greatest?

Even Muhammad Ali knows I'm the greatest. I'm so eco friendly that I drive my car without gasoline. I have counted to infinity and back in twenty four hours. I taught my English teacher how to speak English. The small village of Narnia believes I am their Queen. The Great Wall of China was designed by me. When Humpty Dumpty fell, I was there to put him back together again. Then pushed him off the wall. Again. I'm so great, M.C Hammer lets me touch him. I am not for war, but for peace.

I don't plan my day around time. Time plans it's way around me. I opened 22 orphanages in Africa, accompanied by 12 schools and 17 hospitals. I donate blood to the Red Cross every 12 hours. I own a diamond mine in Australia in which all proceeds go to under privileged children. In my science laboratory, I have brought 357 extinct species back into the world. I have coffee with Tupac Shakur every Saturday morning. Biggie Smalls is our barista. I traveled to the Middle East, met many orphaned children, and adopted all of them.

The President asks my advice frequently, because he knows Canadians are smarter. I have trouble leaving my home because so many people are waiting for my autograph. Everyone asks me where I get my hair done, but it's just naturally awesome. I'm a writer, dancer, and lawyer. Building time machines is a favorite past time of mine. I have caught all the Pokémon.

I am a power ruler, brilliant scientist and dedicated humanitarian. I created Microsoft word making computers safer, faster, and more secure. I then lost the software in a poker game against Bill Gates. I can speak French, Finnish, Spanish, English and Mandarin. I once found a $100.00 American bill in Mexico and gave it to impoverished girl. I design the most elegant fanny packs, shoulder pads, and leather pants. I have never used the "backspace" key on my keyboard. I don't make mistakes.

I frequently see my face in newspapers, magazines, and T.V. I can drink 4L of milk and not throw up. I have been in marathons, triathlons, and races. I was given permission to drive before I even got my driver's license. In less than two minutes, I can cure any computer of a virus. I danced on Broadway, sang on American Idol, and played the Amazing Race. I have played soccer without a soccer ball. Yet I have not gone to college.